Beatrice: Mother Margaretta, William is dancing again.
Margaretta: Oh child, you know that heretic’s soul is not secured in heaven. Tantrum? What shall we do?
Tantrum: Don’t ask me. You know I do not wish to be disturbed while I knit. And heaven knows how many times I have tried to cleanse his rebellious soul.
Margaretta: Shall I pick the rod or the corner?
Tantrum: The cat of nine tails for all I care. That boy needs to be taught a proper lesson.
Margaretta: You know nothing of righteous discipline.
Tantrum: But I do know that unless you give him a cruel punishment, he will only learn to do it again.
Margaretta: No! You must be gentle, kind, or the child will never trust you.
Tantrum: Trust you? Do you think that ruffian buffoon will ever be a devout young man of character?
Margaretta: Dear me, watch your language. You’re worse than he is!
Tantrum: How dare you? I was never like him at that age.
Margaretta: You were banished from grammar school! At exactly his age!
Tantrum: That was a separate matter.
Beatrice: Umm, William is starting to...
Margaretta: A separate matter? You were caught scribbling feather caps on all the holy icons! Twice!
Tantrum: Only once. And I wasn’t banished for that. The Schoolmaster realized Peter had dared me to do so and forced me to attend confession.
Margaretta: Then you threw eggs at the priest!
Tantrum: But I learned from my sins! I matured! And never did them again!
Margaretta: Until after you were banished, when you stole a sweet wafer from the altar before mass.
Tantrum: I was not being fed properly at my school.
Margaretta: Your new school fed you grits for breakfast and water cress for supper, with rye bread and ale.
Tantrum: I had a large appetite.
Margaretta: And I’m sure that extra wafer really did the trick.
Tantrum: Now stop it! The child wants us to discipline William.
Margaretta: You haven’t disciplined in weeks! It’s your turn, Tantrum.
Tantrum: Fine! But I will do it my way!
Margaretta: Not the cat of nine tails!
Tantrum: No. I will give him a nice firm swatting with the rod.
Margaretta: Only thrice! You often forget that you are spanking a mere child. Remember last time?
Tantrum: No, I don’t. May I have the rod, please?
Margaretta: Not before you remember!
Tantrum: All I remember is he couldn’t stand up for weeks. Rod, please?
Margaretta: No! I will not allow you to swat that child!
Tantrum: But you told me to do so.
Margaretta: I have changed my mind.
Beatrice: Sir? William is scribbling on the icons!
Tantrum: ...Quiet. I’m knitting.
